Random realizations

I was at a wake last night and it didn't occur to me until I was on my way there that I would be related to half the people in the room, as the deceased was my late great-uncle Freddy Stutzmann's ex-wife. And as I looked around the room, I didn't recognize a single person, which made me realize that as much as I'm learning about my grandmother's ancestors, I know very little about her immediate family. Her sister Faith Laidlaw's family was there - cousins and second cousins - and Uncle Freddy's kids and grandkids of course as well, people who are names in a book to me and nothing more. It was a bit of a wake-up call to this family historian that I could tell you everything about Uncle Freddy and Aunt Faith's parents and grandparents and not a single thing about their children or grandchildren. And so maybe part of my new year's resolution should be to research sideways when going backward hits a dead end.

On another genealogical note, my dad's sister sent me an e-mail yesterday saying that someone she works with was talking about how her mom's family was one of the founding families of Freeport - that family was, of course, the Raynors. You can't swing a dead cat in this area without hitting a Raynor relation. 

John and Bridget (Collins) Enright, New York Census 1905

John and Bridget, my third great grandparents on my mother's side, have also been particularly elusive and spook-like in my genealogical forays. I've visited their grave and I have Bridget's death certificate, but other than that, their bios are very sparse, indeed.

As I had luck finding the Gorrys and John Horgan in the 1905 New York census, I decided to continue my search there for others on my tree, and turned up a John and Bridget Enwright (gotta love all these names with so many spellings - makes searches so much fun! How did anyone ever find anything before online soundex searches were an option??) John, 80, was born in Ireland and was an alien and had been living in the U.S. for 5 years. Bridget, 72, was also an Irish alien but had been living in the U.S. for 15 years. They were living at 377 Warren Street in Brooklyn, and being the cross-checker I am, a quick look at my Bridget's death certificate confirmed that she did in fact die at the address 377 Warren Street, so these two Bridgets were one and the same. It's the decrepencies in when John and Bridget arrived that interest me - if those timelines are accurate - and we can't assume they are, but if they are - that means that John might have not yet arrived when the 1900 U.S. census was taken, so that if I were looking for Bridget in it, she would not be living with a John. Previously, I had been looking for those two names together.

Time to widen that net, I guess!

St. Charles Cemetery children's section Christmas 2010

Photo by Timothy J. Gorry December 2010, St. Charles Cemetery, Farmingdale, New York.

My dad took this photo this past Christmas at St. Charles Cemetery in Farmingdale, Long Island, when he was visiting my mom's grave. He noticed a section of children's graves where parents had left toys and presents for their lost loved ones. I don't like this picture, because it's too sad, but I thought it was important to post it as a testimony to these particular lost children and to all the children, named and unnamed, infants, toddlers, and stillborns, who are a part of all of our trees. They will never have branches to trace, but they were here, they existed, and so deserve to be remembered. That's part of why we do this after all, right?

For all those snowbound in the American Northeast, stay warm and drive safe! Only two more months of winter! :)

Funeral Card Friday - Keith Stock


So this isn't an ancestor of mine, but because of the date and the timing of Funeral Card Friday, I thought it would be an appropriate memorial to highlight my cousin, Keith, who died two years ago today. It was very sudden and was while he was on his honeymoon, which made it just all the more awful, and it's still difficult to think about today, so I try to instead think about the fun we had as kids, and how we had started reconnecting as adults shortly before he died, and just how much fun we had at his wedding days before he died. We should be sad because we miss the people we love, but we should be happy about the time we got to spend with them.

Which leads me into this - we spend so much time finding and getting to know our family from generations past, relatives long gone, ancestors we'll never meet, and that's fantastic. That is a wonderful thing. But let's not spend so much time with family who are dead that we miss the moments we have with our family who are living.

Hope y'all have a great weekend!

Keith, my brother, and me in Mexico for Keith's wedding, 17 January 2009.

Matrilineal Monday - Musings on matrilineal genealogy

I like this category very much, I have to say. I think I'll enjoy posting on this in the future. But for today, I just wanted to comment on matrilineal genealogy, which traces the female branches of a tree.

When I first started becoming seriously interested in genealogy, I had huge sheets (you had to roll them out on the floor, they were so big) of paper tracing (rather inaccurately, too, it turns out) the Raynor family tree, which is my mother's line. As I've noted before, that tree was pretty extensive before I'd even started, researched and recorded by people years before I was even born. I would sit there for hours reading all the names and recording them into my own book. I was fascinated by it. And saddened by it.

I wasn't on it.

My mother was. But as with every other female on that tree, the Raynor line stopped with her. Now, I get that, especially when trees were recorded on paper, which does not have the infinite space that the Internet does, you have to make choices about who to continue to follow. And I get that for Raynor genealogy, for example, it can be easier to just follow anyone who keeps the Raynor name. But just because I'm a Gorry doesn't make me any less a Raynor than my Raynor cousins, the children of my mother's brothers. We're all half Raynor. We're all branches of that same tree.

At the same time, because it was a Raynor family tree, there was no history on the women who married into it. So I had no information on my great-great grandmother Annie Poole's forebears or origins. I saw Seamans and Halls and all sorts of other female lines on this tree that I knew nothing about.

So, according to these genealogists, if I married into a tree, it was my husband who would be traced. And as a female on my father's tree, my children would not be included.

So needless to say, as a female genealogist, I've been very interested in matrilineal genealogy from the very beginning.

Unfortunately, because we live in a society where women take their husband's names, the women on our trees often get lost, and consequently, so do their families. We can choose to trace the male line as far back as we can go, and that is fine - doing more than that can be time-consuming and can lead to many brick walls - but genealogy is never a straight line. It's not called a "family tree" for nothing. I may have the name Gorry but I am the product of Raynors and Bergs and Stutzmanns and Caseys and a thousand other families, too. And when I marry and have children, I don't want that to be lost - I want them to know and appreciate all the lines they come from, both male and female.

And as a quick note, even though I am at work today, I wish everyone a happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day - hope we all take a minute today to think about his message and vision and everything he stood for!

Nancy Drew and the case of the happy 3rd blogging anniversary

Three years ago I spur of the moment decided to add, to the sports blog and television blog I was already writing, a blog about a third passion of mine - genealogy. Three years ago today, on January 16, 2008, I posted my first entry, entitled "Becoming Nancy Drew," in which I talk about how our family histories are mysteries to be solved, and how as genealogists, we're kind of like Nancy Drew, one of my all-time favorite detectives, fictional or otherwise. I'm still a firm believer in that - genealogy is almost an unsolveable puzzle. We'll never have all the pieces, but we never stop trying to put the whole picture together.

Back then, no one was reading this blog. I almost didn't care. I did the research and the blogging for me, and if an occasional passerby happened upon the world I was sharing, that was enough for me. But knowing there are people who now follow me and who care enough to actually share their thoughts and opinions back to me, creating a dialogue about this topic we all find so fascinating - well, that has made this whole thing all the better, and I thank you for it.

Since that first post three years ago, I've discovered relatives from branches both known and unknown, and gotten to know them and exchange records and research as well. I've found records backing up my personal research and hunches. I've discovered new ancestors and traced lines further back then I ever thought I'd be able to go. I've hit brick walls I still haven't broken through. I've gone down wrong roads and hit dead ends. But I think through it all, I would've made Nancy Drew proud.

And I'm not done yet. I'll never be done. Good detectives never quit. :)

Becoming Nancy Drew

Today's discovery - adventure tours offered by the Town of Hempstead's Parks and Recreation Dept.

First, I just need to say that as I was flipping through the catologue today, I kept thinking of Amy Poehler and all the wacky residents of Pawnee, Indiana - the words "Parks and Recreation" just automatically make me think of the show now - miss it and can't wait for it to come back!

Anyway, I'm posting this link even though it doesn't have to do with genealogy. It does have to do with local history though - in this case Brooklyn and Long Island's "Gold Coast" - and giving people some local flavor, and both those things are intimately tied to genealogy. Genealogy is a multidisciplinary study, so many things tied together. Wherever your family is from, whatever lines you're tracing, it can help immensely understanding the people your ancestors were as well as in giving you possible clues for other research avenues to pursue, to know the history of the places they came from.

So anyway, this is something our P & R department offers, which I was thrilled to see - I'm considering going on the Gold Coast tour - and it might be worth it to see what tours (or seminars, workshops, etc.) local to you, are out there.

Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend! :)

http://www.townofhempstead.org/content/rc/adventuretours.html

Open Thread Thursday - Family on the Wrong Side of History

With the sesquicentennial of the United States Civil War occurring this year, it reminds me of how proud I am of my ancestor, Charles Haase, who fought for the Union during the last year of that war.

It also reminds me of my ancestors on the other side of the family, the Raynors, who supported the losing side of another American war - they were pro-British during the American Revolution.

Cousin April and I just had a conversation recently in which she said she had tried to apply to the Daughters of the American Revolution but couldn't find anyone in our Raynor line who had fought for or supported the cause for American independence. There is, however, evidence that the Raynors would have been quite happy to remain British...as someone who enjoys an afternoon tea break every now and then, as well as many British sitcoms that have come out over the years, I don't blame them! :)

I don't have a lot of evidence or research in this arena - it's been easier to find the documents detailing Charles Haase's stint in the Civil War - of course, the Revolution happened almost 100 years before that, so the records aren't as readily available. But it's been documented that the people of Hempstead, Long Island, which is where the Raynors lived, were staunchly sympathetic to the British, and that St. George's Episcopal Church in Hempstead was used as a British headquarters during the Revolutionary War. Many branches of my family tree at that time ended up fleeing to Canada.

If I put myself in my ancestors' shoes, how can I blame them for the choice they made? They had been in this country for almost 150 years before any talk of revolution - they were leading presumably comfortable, familiar, safe lives. Powerful Great Britain, with it's long, established history, would seem to be the obvious winner in this war. When we learn about American history, we learn about the brave patriots who fought for freedom against a tyrannical king, but how often in modern times do we read about revolutions in other countries where the rebels are portrayed as the villains? It's really all about perspective. And I like that my Tory-loving Raynor ancestors give me a perspective of history that most Americans never even think about.

From thegrio.com - DNA used to reveal MLK and Garvey's European lineage

This is the latest genealogical technology I am currently fascinated by - how amazing that our very persons at the actual units of our physical make-up can connect us to the people we came from! And how amazing that anybody, but particularly those for whom the lack of actual documentation, such as people of African descent, now have a means to at least partially unlock the door to where they came from! I love the multidisciplinary nature of genealogy and am dying to trace my own genetic tree - not just the countries my ancestors came from but the groups of people they belonged to, even though my ethnic background, at all European, is fairly homogeneous. These tests are still pretty expensive - that's what I'm collecting all my loose change for! :)

http://www.thegrio.com/black-history/dna-used-to-reveal-mlk-and-garveys-african-lineage.php

Flirting with Disaster - lessons on feeling connected and adoptees in the family tree...

Sam and I spent part of our snow day yesterday watching the 1996 movie "Flirting with Disaster," in which Ben Stiller plays a neurotic adoptee searching for his birth parents, because he wants to find out where he comes from and who he is before he gives a name to his 5-month-old son. Wacky hijinks ensue, of course, but as we were starting the movie, Sam said to me, "This movie is right up your allow, because it's about searching for family."

That made me think about two things - first, that yes, Ben Stiller's character's journey through the movie trying to find out the simple question of where he came from is a lot like our journeys as genealogists and family historians. The only difference is that while his answer is just in finding his parents, a single generation back, we're all looking much further back (or maybe not much further, but a little bit, anyway). The idea is the same, though, that, as Tea Leoni's character says, "no matter where we are in our lives...we can't help but feel that there's something ...out there that's going to make us feel complete, give us a sense of belonging, connectedness if you will." We all want to feel connected, and whether you're separated by 25 years or 225 years, you can't help but feel connected to family.

The second thing I thought about was genealogy in the lives of those who have been adopted, whether into our own families or by other families. We have all probably encountered that at some point or other in our research. Bloodlines are how we trace the people we're descended from, how we look for familiar faces in photos of people we never met who have been dead for 100 years, but does that mean that your adopted cousin isn't family? Of course not. Family isn't just nature - it's nurture. Habits and quirks aren't just genetic; they're learned. Family photos and family stories include everyone, not just blood relations. Nobody should ever be left off of a family tree simply because their genetic family history is different or unknown. If they don't know their own roots, then they just become the roots of a new tree - the circle of life - and a new story. It's up to the individual how they choose to trace an adoptee in their family - do you trace the genetic line, if it's known? Or do you trace the line of people that shaped the adoptee by caring for them and choosing to make them one of their own? Belonging is more than blood. Anybody who considers their friends to be family knows that!

Happy New Year!!

Should auld acquaintance be forgot/And never brought to mind?/Should auld acquaintance be forgot/And auld lang syne?


Harry: “What does this song mean? My whole life, I don’t know what this song means. It means ‘Should old acquaintance be forgot.’ Does that mean that we should forget old acquaintances or does it mean that if we should happen to forget them, we should remember them which is not possible because we already forgot?”

Sally: “Well maybe it just means that maybe we should remember that we forgot them or something. Anyway, it’s about old friends”

Wishing a very happy and safe New Year to all my readers, everyone in the genealogy and blogging communities, and to all your families as well - may 2011 be a good year for us all!!

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night...

I hope none of you are reading this today, but I wanted to wish my readers, the blogging and genealogy community, and the rest of the world too a happy, safe, and peaceful Christmas - spend time with your families, retell old stories, share memories, ask questions, write down the answers, and if just for a little while, forget about preserving it all for the future, and enjoy being with loved ones in the present!

Merry Christmas!

Shoebox full of memories: sifting through my childhood

My 95-year-old grandmother has been slowly but surely cleaning out of her apartment all the stuff 95 years and nine grandchildren will cause to accumulate. This has involved separating and giving back to each grandchild all the cards and drawing and letters he or she sent her over the years. I don't think it ever occurred to me that she would have saved them for so long, but tonight she handed me a folder full of thank you letters scrawled in my uneven print, birthday cards drawn in bright markers, and pictures of her, my grandfather, my mom, my dad, from when I was so young that they barely even resemble people.

The first reason I mention this is that not only did talking about these things and reminiscing about them provide some nice quality time with my grandmother, but listening to my grandmother talk about how receiving these letters and cards and drawings and then looking back over them through the years gave her such joy made me (well, to be honest, not only cry) but realize that just as the letters and cards and photos that our parents and grandparents and great grandparents pass on to us are important and meaningful, going generationally backward it is as well.

The second reason I mention this is that looking over these letters I wrote when I was 5, 6, 7, 8 years old, all the way through high school, I recount feelings and thoughts, stories about the things going on in my life and the people who were in my life. You can see the time period when I stop writing to Grandma and Grandpa and start to just write to Grandma, a clue to future generations that this is the time when Grandpa died, but that's what I was thinking about - future generations. I look at the letters and photos from older generations but sometimes forget about the things I will pass on to my children and their children. When I'm gone, these letters and drawings will give them insight into my life. And the memories that looking at these things jogged - I tell my dad he needs to start recording all his memories about not only his grandparents and parents but about his own life as well, and I guess these things my grandmother handed me made me realize that I, too, will need to record the things I remember about my grandparents and parents and my own life, before I'm too far removed to remember them. It also made me sad to think about future generations that won't have these mementos - they'll have e-mails and digital photos, but an e-mail doesn't show a 5-year-old's handwriting or a distracted teenager's doodle in the corner. These are the memories that within the next generation will be completely lost, which makes it all the more important to hold on to the ones we have!!

I think the scary figures to the left are multiple Easter bunnies?...not quite sure about the disembodied heads to the right...

Why I didn't thank my grandfather as well is beyond me...in 1987, I was eight.

Tombstone Tuesday - Steve Brodie, first man to supposedly jump off the Brooklyn Bridge and survive

Claimed to be the first man to jump off the Brooklyn Bridge and survive (July 23m 1886) - he became pretty famous for the alleged feat although in later years the act for which he became known was disputed. Whether or not the claim is true, I guess he accomplished what he set out to do since we're still talking about him today :)

Steve Brodie's headstone. Photo by Timothy J. Gorry.

Brodie died in Texas on January 31, 1901 at the age of 39. Tuberculosis isn't quite as romantic a death now, is it? He is buried with his wife Bridget in Calvary Cemetery in Queens, New York. Thanks to my dad for taking the photo. He just told me he "just happened upon it" while he was at the cemetery. That might mean he spends too much time wandering graveyards. That's definitely where I get it from! :)

Charleston, S.C., here I come...: 2011 NGS Family History Conference

So, I am officially registered for the 2011 National Genealogical Society's Family History Conference. The 5-day long conference is next May in Charleston, South Carolina. I almost decided against going because of the money - the conference itself and extra luncheons and social events are not exactly cheap and then you have to add in cost of travel and hotel, but I'm going with Cousin April, which will cut down on some of the expenses, and frankly, I didn't go on vacation this past year and I don't have any foreseeable vacation plans next year, so why not? Five days of workshops, all day long, isn't exactly a vacation, but it's a new city I've never been to, there's some opportunity to actually see some of the city, and just the chance to get away from home and work, for whatever reason? That's vacation enough for me.

Anyway, April and I met last weekend to discuss the conference, and the more we talked about it, the more excited I got. There are some really interesting workshops being offered covering an array of topics - I was looking at ones specific to German church records and Irish land valuation records, ones that deal with thinking "outside the box" when it comes to looking for and finding records, ones that talk about how to resolve conflicts in records, ones that talk about records I've only recently started to use or haven't used yet but might in the future, like probate records, ones that talk about the future of genealogy, specifically the way social media (and blogs!) are changing the way research and networking are done, and because I'm interested in becoming certified, I was also looking at several workshops that deal with that as well as the proper techniques for working as a professional genealogist.

Bored yet? C'mon, if you read this blog, I don't see how you can be!

April was excited about some of the workshop presenters, such as Elizabeth Shown Mills, who seems to be a big name in genealogy (I'll admit, I'm not quite as up-to-speed on my genealogy celebs - if anyone is a bigger genealogy nerd than me, it's April! :)), and the fact that Buzzy Jackson, who just wrote a book called "Shaking the Family Tree," will be a keynote speaker.

There will be several social events throughout the week, which I think will be great for networking - as you all know I love to repeat, we family historians have to work together! But I also think they just sound fun - a wine and cheese party at the Charleston Museum, a barbeque at the Charleston rifle club. I wonder if they cash bar at the rifle club will be followed by the opportunity to try out the weaponry...

I also decided to sign up for an extra trip to the South Carolina archives in Columbia. As it so happens, I have some family, the Storys, who lived in the Charleston area for a couple of generations back in the mid-1700s (Mary Story, daughter of Morris Story, granddaughter of Rowland Story, and great granddaughter of Zachariah Story, born in Charleston, married Richard Poole; their daughter Annie married J.J. Raynor - Annie and J.J. were my great-great grandparents...) and I think it's possible I might be able to find some records that could help flesh out and verify parts of that branch of my tree.

And on top of all that, it was nice to see April again. I think April and I are actually a good example of modern genealogy - we found each other through the Internet, we pool our research and resources, we're both big proponents of verifying our research. Whenever we go to these genealogy things, we're always the youngest ones there, but I think we represent the next generation of family historians. It's those like us, those like all of you, that have to make sure the *next* generation is well-prepared to carry on the legacy!

Registration for the NGS Family History Conference is still open! For more information, visit http://www.ngsgenealogy.org/!

Busy bees slack off on blogging...quick post about NGS conference

I've been so busy with my "real job" that I've been slacking off on the blogging - apologies all around. So while I continue to work my little tail off for the rest of the week (and hopefully get back to our regularly scheduled blogging program very soon!), here's a quick link Cousin April shared with me today - registration for the National Genealogical Society's 2011 Conference is now open. It will be in Charleston, SC May 11-14 and if you look at the brochure, it looks to be pretty interesting. Whether you're a beginner or a "pro," it's worth at least taking a look at - as with anything, learning new techniques and building new skills are things we should never stop doing, and networking with others is always good, too - plus, while your friends and families might tune you out once you start "talking genealogy" like a lunatic when you get excited about it, these people will only share your enthusiasm (and probably won't tune you out - just keep the mad excited hand-waving to a minimum!) :)

http://www.ngsgenealogy.org/cs/conference_info

Connecting and sharing (and saying hello to new cousins...)

So often I think of this blog as a way for me to share my genealogical journey with you in hopes that my adventures will help you in your own family research, and along the way I also share the help that I've gotten from the distant cousins I've connected with along the way.

I forget that one of the fantastic additional perks to this blog is that it itself is a tool to connecting with those cousins. At the very beginning, my very first blog follower was a distant cousin of mine, Stan, who found my blog while he was researching our shared Berg genealogy. This morning I received a wonderful e-mail from a "new" cousin on my Reinhardt line, who had stumbled across my blog while researching our shared tree. Not only did he write me a very lovely e-mail saying hello and outlining his Reinhardt line, but he sent me copies of all these photos of his grandparents, great grandparents, and great great grandparents. He even had verbal descriptions of his family members' personalities from his mother. Opening that e-mail was like opening a treasure chest.

So I just wanted to thank Cousin Chris for not only reaching out and making that connection, but for sharing so much with me - those are the two most important things when it comes to genealogy, in my humble opinion. We have to connect to each other, and we have to share with each other! That's how we get things done!

Enjoy your weekend everyone! :)